Chris Rock recently said “women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved on the condition that we provide something.” My last article said something very similar. I don’t think it’s quite true, but in jest is truth, and Chris Rock is pointing out a trend in society—men have to prove themselves, and generally women do not.
A lot of men are sorrowful today because of this sentiment, not because it wasn’t always there, but because of an evolution in society. The evolution is towards a materialistic view of human nature. A lot of the alt-right crowd are keying on this. They’ll hold lectures that talk about “hypergamy”—the tendency of women to try to marry a man of higher social standing than themselves. There is no concept of romance or principle in any of this. They’ll argue in lectures that women will leave you the second a better man becomes available to them. Enough will that many identify. These lecturers say “it’s just a woman’s nature. Likewise it’s a man’s to…” Therein lies the problem. Yes, unprincipled and immoral people will leave a spouse or lover for someone better suited to their fancies if the opportunity avails itself. Is it true? Are people solely governed by animal instincts?
Sorrow is one of the greatest impetuses of human existence. It asks the most questions and demands the most answers. The German word “Weltschmerz” comes to mind, which means “a feeling of weariness about the condition of the world.” If the many who are sorrowful assume that the world is purely a materially conditioned place run by more intelligent animals, no wonder they are sorrowful. All the evil they fear can be accounted for, but not hope. There cannot be a hope, because how can animals change their nature? Lions don’t care about the opinions of sheep as Achilles said. Sorrow has no answer.
Jordan Peterson has become quite popular in part because he’s trying to offer a solution to this, which is “get yourself in order so that you can stop being a loser and start being a winner.” While this might seem like sage advice (and in many ways, it is), that sentiment only allows you to overcome some problems. Maybe you’ve been a fantastic husband, have provided well for your wife and children and your wife leaves you anyway. In other words, it’s possible to be good and still be grievously wounded.
What’s the solution? The world is evil, and as a man you can forget all the feminist crapology about how your toxic masculinity is bad. Save the gender equality for Ivy League ivory towers that never tried to date an actual woman (because dating means ownership, don’t you know). Women want men who provide; men want women who are caring and loving.
One of the solutions must be getting rid of the assumption that people are governed by their instincts only. It’s clearly not true. We are not rats in a Skinner Box. We are intelligent in a unique way, and therefore can be held to a higher standard. Humans will sacrifice themselves for ideals. Those ideals carry on, and change society. That change is not complete or perfect, but it is real. There’s a reason we don’t throw people to lions anymore; though I admit humans still have a thirst for blood, it’s not as ravenous as it was. Likewise, maybe the reason people perceive there is less sexual fidelity today (see Tinder) is because much of society thinks, “well so-and-so is just acting in their nature” as opposed to “so-and-so is morally reprehensible and should be shunned by friends and family until they repent.”
You can start by recognizing that you are not just an animal reacting to stimuli. You are a human. You can make choices. You can choose to act good or bad. You can choose to associate with people who believe that such a choice exists. You can stop hanging out with friends who think human nature is a monkey with wires in its brain. I think you’ll find there is more hope if you do.